Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
