Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
