my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
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