I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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