The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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