i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
