Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize