Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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