This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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