Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
