she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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