i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
