to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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