you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
