I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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