whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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