I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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