She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
