Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
