neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
