Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
