Can Purell be used as lube?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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