I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
