Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
