Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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