I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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