69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So much Jack, so little girl.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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