One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's the barista slut.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
