guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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