Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
