so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
