i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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