Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
