well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize