i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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