Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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