Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize