I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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