Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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