who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize