Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
