i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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