is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
