Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
