can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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