Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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