she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
