Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Come share oat with me in your robe
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
