what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize