she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
