i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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