I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize