I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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