no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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