Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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