ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize