Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
