i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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