Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize