Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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